From PhD to Parenthood: Unveiling the Mental Health Challenges We Often Overlook

From PhD to Parenthood:

Unveiling the Mental Health Challenges We Often Overlook

Alejandra Viviescas shares her personal experience with anxiety, postpartum depression, and the prevailing stigma around mental health. This heartfelt narrative underscores the vital role of mental health awareness and support in overcoming such challenges.

I’ve always been an anxious person. The feeling of uneasiness when things get out of control and the sudden need to fix everything that is wrong in my life in the next 5 minutes have been with me since I was a little girl. But I never gave them much thought. The episodes would come and go; they didn’t last long enough to really affect my life.

Navigating the Academic Storm

However, things changed during my third year of grad school. I was going through an emotional crisis, not wanting to pursue an academic career, but not knowing what to do after I finished my PhD. I felt that I had lost my path and dealt with uncertainty all the time. It was the perfect conditions for anxiety to finally take the driver’s seat.

I knew things weren’t okay. I even considered seeking professional counseling, but many things discouraged me from going ahead with that plan. First, my parents didn’t trust mental health professionals, so I didn’t trust them either. Second, the academic environment I was in glorified the idea of “toughening up” in the face of adversity, and I didn’t want to appear weak. Third, my health insurance plan didn’t cover mental health services, and I couldn’t afford to pay for them out of pocket.

So, I brushed the anxiety crisis as something secondary, finished my PhD with the support of my partner, moved back to my home country, and left academia. In this new, more supportive environment, I was able to take anxiety out of the driver’s seat and get things “back to normal.”

Scientific evidence shows that graduate students, particularly PhD students, are at a significantly higher risk of developing a psychiatric disorder than the general population and other highly educated groups. Risk factors include working in a high-stress environment and financial struggles. On top of that, many grad students refrain from seeking help, even after identifying the symptoms of deteriorating mental health, because of fear of stigma and unawareness of available services provided by their institution.

After my PhD, I had many conversations about mental health with fellow PhDs and we all agreed that the topic does not get the attention it deserves. However, this all seemed to be in the past. I was now married and had established a career as a medical writer.  My partner and I were very happy when I became pregnant. Things seemed great.

Motherhood: An Unexpected Turbulence

But everything spiraled out of control really quickly in my 34th week of pregnancy. In a matter of 48 hours, I was diagnosed with severe preeclampsia, got an emergency c-section, and held my preemie son in my arms for the first time. All my carefully-crafted plans for becoming a mother were replaced by a harsh reality I didn’t want to face.

Given the circumstances, we were lucky; our son didn’t need to spend time in the NICU, started gaining weight almost immediately, and was a pretty good sleeper for a newborn. But I couldn’t see any of this as good news. I was overwhelmed with the situation, mad at my body for becoming ill, and guilty for being a bad mother to my son. I had lost control, and so anxiety once again took the driver’s seat. This time, it came along with postpartum depression (PPD).

I was having panic attacks almost daily, and I lived in a constant state of paranoia. I feared that something bad was going to happen to me or my baby. I was convinced that my husband and son would be better off without me. I wanted to run away so I could have some peace of mind and figure things out without the responsibility of taking care of a new life.

Things became really bad, really quickly. So, this time, I had no choice but to look for professional help. I’m glad I did. I started taking antidepressants and seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. It took months of work, months of reshaping my views on mental health professionals, months of frustration because of relapses. But eventually, I got better.

My son is almost 20 months now, and I’ve been off antidepressants for almost a year. I no longer see a psychiatrist, but I still see my psychologist regularly, and I have no plans to stop. Therapy helps me keep anxiety in check, and I like my life better when I’m in the driver’s seat.

Shattering Stigmas: Embracing Mental Wellness

New mothers, just like grad students, have a higher prevalence of psychiatric disorders than the general population. Depending on the country, between 1 and 3 of every 10 new mothers will develop a mental illness in the first year after giving birth. These disorders are different from baby blues, a depressive syndrome experienced by 8 out of 10 women in the first weeks after delivery.

And yet, new mothers, just like grad students, face a stigma when they look for mental health support. The first night I was back home with my baby, I told my parents that I thought I was at a very high risk of developing postpartum depression. They were very gentle and loving, but their message was clear: I should not talk about this idea. Everything was fine. My son was a beautiful baby. It was a joyful time.

Both of my stories show the importance of mental health education and awareness.

Many new mothers and grad students who struggle with mental illness would benefit from knowing ahead of time that they are a part of a high-risk group . This could help them identify the symptoms early, know that they are not alone, and feel less apprehensive about speaking up and seeking help. Additionally, having resources available to educate loved ones and close people on how to act in the face of mental health disorders would go a long way in reducing stigma and encouraging early treatment.

Learn about Alejandra Viviescas, PhD